Shalini Singh married at 18 and was widowed at 23. The death of her husband, Major Avinash Bhaduria, prompted her to consider sati. But, she recovered and made a successful career for herself in the military and then in the corporate world.
Coming from a middle-class family background, Rajput settled in Kanpur, Uttar Pradesh, but with roots in Varanasi, Shalini grew up as an introvert. While she was in her freshman year, a marriage proposal came from an army family. She wanted to graduate, but her family insisted that she meet Avinash. She agreed to marry him after he assured her that he too wanted her to study.
The young couple’s first assignment was in Jamnagar, near the Pakistani border in Gujarat. Their son, Dhruv, was born two years later. About three and a half years after the marriage, Avinash’s parent unit – 18 Madras Regiment – was assigned to Doda, Jammu and Kashmir, along with 8 Rashtriya Rifles, an elite counter-insurgency unit from the army. Shalini and Dhruv returned to Avinash’s house in Kanpur. “He used to write me a letter every day, and I didn’t respond quickly,” she said, adding that Avinash used to call once a week or 10 days.
In his almost a year and a half with the Rashtriya Rifles, Avinash has returned only once. He planned to surrender again on October 5, 2001; his leave was approved. But, on September 28, he died fighting terrorists in Doda. He was 29 years old. Avinash killed four terrorists before succumbing to gunshot wounds. Inspired by his leadership and sacrifice, his men eliminated the remaining terrorists.
Avinash’s family received the call around 11:30 a.m. on September 28. But Shalini was not warned. Although there was media coverage and whispered condolences from visitors, she was shielded from it all. “I was only told that Avinash was injured and is recovering in a hospital in Lucknow,” Shalini said. “I was finally told then that we were only a few kilometers from Lucknow. Soon, I found myself in front of a coffin wrapped in the tricolor flag.
She received Avinash’s last letter, dated September 27, after his cremation. He wrote it a few hours before leaving for his last operation. For a moment, the letter made Shalini believe that her husband was alive. “He wrote that he would be moving to base camp,” she said. “’Let’s see if I get to Kanpur first or literally,’ he wrote. We first received his body; the letter arrived two days after his cremation.
Avinash was an athlete, a shot put and boxing champion. Keeping in mind his National Defense Academy background, his first posting was in Hatigarh, a Naxalite-affected area in Assam. While remembering Avinash as a brave officer, Shalini believes she was the opposite. Having been protected by Orthodoxy all her life (she had never gone out alone), she suddenly finds herself alone with a dependent child.
“I went into a state of despair, feeling like I couldn’t live my life,” she said. “I even thought of ending my life. His only hope was Dhruv. Once, after seeing him lying on her knees, laughing, oblivious to the tragedy, she realized she couldn’t be weak. She told her husband’s colleagues that she and her son wanted no mercy and were surprised to learn of the possibility of joining the army. “I was physically weak and introverted,” she said. His parents were supportive to the end, but were unsure of his ability to enter.
Three months after losing Avinash, she appeared before the service selection committee, in Allahabad. She made the cut and exactly six months after Avinash’s death, she joined the Chennai Officer Training Academy.
She left Dhruv with her parents. Every night she cried because she missed him and her parents sent her his picture every week. “When Dhruv joined the school, I wasn’t there,” she said. “But, I did everything for him; to give him a good education. My husband would have done the same. Dhruv is currently completing his bachelor’s degree in engineering.
The training was difficult. “My fellow cadets were better prepared for life in the army, while I was enjoying a comfortable life as an army wife,” she said. “Furthermore, I had delivered a baby by caesarean section and my body had not fully recovered. But, I had to fight against life, for us, for Avinash. So, I succeeded. Now, I miss my academy days.
On September 7, 2002, just 21 days before the first anniversary of Avinash’s death, Shalini was commissioned into the Indian Army. She was assigned to the Ordnance Corps and posted to Barmer, near the Pakistani border in Rajasthan, as part of Operation Parakram, the mobilization of the army in response to the attack on the Parliament Buildings in December 2001. “I had just left the academy and the situation at the border was almost warlike,” she said. “I barely had time to learn.” She added that although it was demanding and challenging, the experience helped her become more disciplined.
In October 2002, she traveled to Delhi to receive the Kirti Chakra on behalf of her husband. “Standing on stage in my uniform to receive my husband’s Kirti Chakra from former President APJ Abdul Kalam was the proudest moment of my life and the greatest tribute I could have paid him,” said she declared. Shalini served until 2008 in several places near the border. After her stint in the military, she completed her MBA and held a management position in a multinational company.
In 2017, she won a competition called Classic Mrs India-Queen of Substance. “The doors of the NDA are now open to women, as well as a permanent commission for female officers,” she said. “But, I would say, women should never use their gender to gain an advantage. Prove yourself through hard work and dedication.
